Gloomy days in September

Well one thing we can say with some certainly about living in Northern Ontario is that the weather is unpredictable, and subject to extreme changes in a short space of time. It’s barely mid September, and we’ve already had frost warnings, and nights as low as 3c. And oh, so much rain.

It reminds us how glad we are that we took the opportunity to move the camper Into its final spot during the final days of warm and dry weather in August. After the rain we’ve had in the last few weeks, doing so would be completely impossible.

The colder weather seems far too early. It seems like we have only just packed away the sleeping bags which protected us from icy cold over the winter, but here we are having already put them out on the bed for warmth.

We’re also noticing the changing colours of plants and trees slowly creeping in. Ferns along the aside of the road leading to our area have become bright yellow and orange, and some of the leaves on the trees have started to yellow and descend.

In our forest it’s still mostly green, but every now and then a little yellow is peeking through. And while this time of year is beautiful to observe and be literally in the middle of, it adds a bit of pressure to be ready for winter. And our efforts towards that are hampered by heavier rains every few days, forcing us to stop and have down time.

This week, we are hoping to pick up some more pallets in town to try and finish the woodshed we started last week. It’s surprising how few pallets are actually available around here, having been used to being in the city where people beg you to take them off their hands. Here it’s about being observant and in the right place at the right time.

Contemplating the approaching winter, we find ourselves quite frustrated. We have barely had a summer worth mentioning. It’s rained a lot, and, frankly, there hasn’t been enough progress with our plans throughout. Technically, we have only been back at our own camper for just barely over three months.

And now it feels like we’re already preparing to be shut inside for another 8 months of winter and cold, cut off from everything and everyone. On gloomy, rainy days this feeling is exacerbated. It’s tough to stay cheerful and positive, and hard to not focus on the “what ifs” and “if onlys”.

On these gloomy days, we are also cut off from communication and internet. The solar panels barely get enough light to turn on the power stations and the needle doesn’t move in them. Our regular cellphone reception is completely absent here, so we rely on Starlink to connect to even text anyone. But Starlink uses power from the power stations and so, with no charge, we simply skip it.

The reality is that money is a huge factor in our day to day lives. We are learning to stretch the meagre amount we have further, but the costs are growing everywhere for everyone. And it’s hard not to feel like many things are against us. The truck still giving issues, $10 for a pound of butter. $12 for barely a pound of ground beef, and the list of needs grows exponentially. After food, it’s gas and propane, tools and building supplies.

Our goal is to utilise as much of what is here and available to us for free as we can, but even that ultimately requires money. You can’t run a chainsaw without gas and oil. And to cut firewood or building materials you need the chainsaw. Gas is also required to drive the truck to town to buy gas and oil.

It’s hard to explain all the challenges one faces when looking at the bigger picture. One small thing can throw a huge wrench in the works. Without sounding like whining, a quick run down of hurdles we face is relevant. Generator not working, means power is at a premium. The furnace is not working, (we believe mice got I to the wiring) so we have no heat right now. The truck is acting up, and we don’t have a ton of money for gas, which means we can’t travel far to buy or just pick up things which are needed for building etc.

It’s easy to spiral into a depression and feel completely overwhelmed by it all.

But every day brings something different. We’re expecting a visitor this weekend, from a homestead near Timmins. He has built a log cabin on his homestead and is, I believe, an electrician by trade. He is bringing some tools with him to hopefully get our generator spark plug taken out so we can see if it is just hydro locked, and if it is, that could help us have the added benefit of being able to power up the camper batteries and the solar power stations to allow communication and light.

And of course, when you look outside the camper windows while the rain is falling, we’re still awed. We live in a forest. We’re in amongst natural beauty in all directions. And we own this little patch outright, with nothing owed on it. And while it presents challenges and down days, it also has been one of the most liberating and freeing feelings to be removed from the daily city grind. It is a dream in the process of being fulfilled, regardless of how delayed it has been at times.

We are truly grateful every day for what we have and for those individuals who, in ways small and large have, and continue to, help us along this journey. Each and every contribution, both in moral or financial support, boosts our resolve to make this all work and come together. The rewards will be worth the struggle.